读懂小学生,成为孩子的神助攻
我们总想给予孩子最好的爱,成为孩子的神助攻。
却发现催促孩子千百遍,孩子仍停留在原地不变。
说少了,孩子不自觉;说多了,孩子会厌烦。
陪少了,孩子放飞自我;陪多了,孩子产生依赖心理。
那么,怎么样才能恰到好处地帮到孩子?
2020年10月27日,我校邀请到了国家二级心理咨询师、职业规划师,心理学第三、四届学科带头人,青浦区学生心理发展辅导中心首席专业心理咨询师、青浦区心理学拔尖人才——李精辉老师。
李老师首先通过丰富的案例,带领家长们慢慢走近孩子,了解了孩子常见的心理问题、外在表现及出现这些问题的原因:
- 学习障碍问题; 2.认知-行为问题;
- 人际关系问题; 4.青春期问题;
- 注意力缺陷问题;注意力缺陷多动;儿童发育迟滞;
- 网络问题; 7.情绪障碍问题。
家长们知道了作为父母,需要勇敢面对、坦然接受,及时进行科学评估,接受系统的治疗与辅导。
之后,李老师根据“埃里克森人格发展的八阶段论”,带领家长们了解了各年龄段孩子的心理、情绪发展特点、心理需求及成长规律,和家长共同探讨了家庭教育的几个原则:创设温馨的家庭氛围,妈妈做好陪伴,给予孩子温暖、安全感,爸爸成为孩子强有力的支持和学习的榜样。这样才能陪伴孩子更好地学习和成长!
家长们纷纷点头表示认同,收获颇多。有的家长恍然大悟:“我才知道原来孩子的一些行为问题是源于心理障碍,有些甚至是需要及时就医干预的”,有的家长说:“我知道了要无条件地爱孩子,接纳孩子的不完美”,还有的家长说:“我会重新审视自己在育儿路上的不足,首先做好自己,做好孩子的榜样,高效陪伴!”
读懂青春期的孩子,成为孩子的知心人
我们总想给予孩子最好的爱,
但随着孩子渐渐长大,
我们却发现曾经乖巧听话的孩子与我们渐行渐远,
少了很多共同语言,多了不少针锋相对。
那么,当父母的爱遇到孩子的青春期,当父母遇到特殊时期的“逆变”——无理、反抗、甚至冲突时,该如何和孩子相处、沟通呢?
李精辉老师从心理学的角度,通过生动的活动体验、多样的案例,带领家长们慢慢走近青春期的孩子,了解了不同年龄阶段孩子的心理、情绪发展特点,知道怎样读懂孩子的情绪,全然接纳孩子的情绪,懂得如何与孩子有效地沟通,给予他们所需要的爱。
会后家长们感慨万千,有的家长说:“这堂课干货满满,而且非常贴近现实,具有实操性”,有的家长说:“给迷茫的自己带来了方向”,还有的家长说:“读懂孩子,做好父母,自己需要不断地学习和成长” 。
希望我们都能成为孩子的知心人,找到打开孩子心灵之门的钥匙。共同陪伴孩子穿越“误区”,走出“迷局”,遇见更好的自己!
青浦区协和双语学校“心灵小筑”心理辅导中心
Understanding Our Children
To Accompany Them to Grow Up Happily
——Psychological lecture for parents of primary and junior high school students
Understanding primary school students and become their God’s assistant
We always want to give our children the most love and to be their greatest helpers; but sometimes we find that our child remains in the same place, despite the time spent supporting them. With a little scolding, children are not motivated enough; with too much scolding, children are impatient. With a little guidance, children are uncontrolled; with too much guidance, children rely on parents all the time. So, how can we help our children properly?
On October 27, 2020, our school hoped to find an answer by inviting Teacher Li Jinghui; a National Second-Level psychological consultant, career planner, academic leader of the third and fourth term of psychology, chief professional psychological consultant of Qingpu District Student Psychological Development Counseling Center and top psychological talent of Qingpu District.
Firstly, through an abundance of cases, Teacher Li led parents to approach their children patiently and understand their common psychological problems, external manifestations and the reasons for these problems:
- 1. Learning problems; 2. Cognitive-behavioral problems;
- 3. Interpersonal problems; 4. Adolescent problems;
- 5. Attention deficit problems; Attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder; Children developmental retardation;
- 6. Network obsession; 7. Mood disorders.
Parents understand that they need to be accountable, accept the situation, complete a timely scientific evaluation, and receive systematic treatment and guidance.
Later, according to “Erickson’s eight-stage theory of personality development”, Teacher Li led the parents in understanding the psychological and emotional development characteristics of children, psychological needs and growth of children of all ages, and discussed several principles of family education with the parents, namely; to create a warm family atmosphere. Mothers can guide their children well while giving the children warmth and security; fathers become a strong model for support and learning to the children. Only in this way can we encourage our children to learn and grow better!
Parents agreed, wholeheartedly. Some parents suddenly realized: “I have learned that some children’s behavioral problems are originally derived from the psychological barrier, some even need timely medical intervention”, other parents said: “I know I need to love my children unconditionally and accept my children are not perfect”, while a few parents said: “I will re-examine myself in terms of parenting. The first thing I need to do is to be a good role model for my children and guide them efficiently!”
Understand the adolescent and become their bosom friend
We always want to give our children the most love,
But as the children grow older,
We find that our good and obedient children have drifted away from us,
No more common language, a lot of arguments.
When children’s adolescence arrives, and parents encounter a special period of “rebellion”, resistance, and even conflict, how can they get along and communicate with their children?
From the perspective of psychology, Teacher Li Jinghui led parents through experiencing lively activities and recommend the following; patiently approach adolescents, understand the psychological and emotional development of the different ages of children, know how to understand their emotions, completely accept the emotions, know how to communicate effectively with their children and to give them the love they need.
After the meeting, the parents were full of feelings. Some parents said, “This class is full of information, and it is very close to the reality, with insight”; some said, “It has led me in the correct direction of understanding my children”, and a few said, “To understand children and be a good parent, I need to continue to learn and grow”.
I hope we can all become our children’s bosom friends and find the key to open our children’s hearts. Together, with the children, we overcome any misunderstanding and figure out the “puzzle” to meet a better self!
SUIS QP “Mind Building” Psychological Counseling Center